Lying make my penis hard like a fucked up pinnochio

Whenever I rant about the unabomber I can tell everyone wants me to stop😐

I just want her to come over and churn my butter

Me when I see a typical hoe tallying objects: Ha. It’s the thot that counts

I’m falling in forests you’ve never seen making sounds you’ve never heard

All my naysayers are horses

In outlook using the scheduled send capabilities to send my ex a link to boyfriend by Tyler Cassidy in approximately 7 months

In iMessage using its takebacksies capabilities to unsend message

If I had two nickels for every dime I had I would have two nickels which would be one dime

Running for throtus btw my platform is throat mostly

If I got a nickel back for every awful band I heard today I would get a nickelback

Shorty presidential gave me an election💒

Random acts of kindness are actually like-bombing, the subtler and more subversive cousin to lovebombing

Hoes discussing my package like I’m ted kaczynski 💌

I no longer luvr pubes

Hate being a trendsetter. Getting dominated went pop 😔

I hope I never get ostracized that’s a pretty big bird

Startup: Take one man and another man and have them exchange trash. This generates an enormous amount of treasure