need this on sunday 😍

SKYLANDERS

She wocka on my flocka till I flame

Switching to they/them pronouns I’m not non-binary but my split personalities would like some equal representation

I think I might need to be refurbished

Green beers and ham

Quick reminder to neuter and spay your slow walking relatives

Weighted blanket isn’t enough I need a boa constrictor

I may have snorted too much chalk dust cus I just went bouldering for the first time and have never felt more alive

They’re taking Coraline off Netflix what excuse am I supposed to use to get whimsical indie and toxic emo girls to come home with me now

Please bring back roller blading. Like unironically. I see such wasted potential for the most efficient, environmentally friendly, and most swag mode of transport to date. Ill be starting the gofundme to implement roller blading lanes. Donate what you can, everything helps.

Scratch what I just said the new priority is bringing back Mutton chop side burns. This literally could be you.

Looking for a lady to give me the heebie-jeebies. Serious inquiries only. ☝️

Bro last night was a dystopian NOVEL that left us wondering who the real enemies are and what the meaning of life is