your heart is on your sleeve and mine's on the floor

rock bottom is my fucking address

I can literally SEE the thought bubbles popping abovwe their heads that read, “I’d like to vwash my delicates on that vwashboard.”

vwell, I’vwe got newvs for you, ladies – that guy vwith the six pack isn’t right for you – or anyone, for that matter.

Just like you vwanted a pony vwhen you vwere 3, you somehowv assume you vwant the guy vwith an unbreakable core at 9. Just say no.

Ladies, a man vwith sextuplet muscles on his stomach automatically assumes he can have sex vwith you. vwhy do you think he did it?

To 8E healthy? Pish posh.

Someone vwho vworks out to that extent vwants something for their troubles besides a clean bill of health from the doctor.

vwith evwery crunch, that juice junkie somehowv assumes that anything personality-related becomes a non-issue vwhen it comes to dealing++

+ members of the opposite sex for dating purposes.

Find a guy vwho likes vworking out, but not a guy vwho likes svweating in lieu of substance. ( someone like me, for example.)

As a society, vworking out has become more about vwanity than health. People congregate in these health clubs to be either admired.+

+ or to stare at the bodies vwe vwish vwe could havwe as vwe slavwe avway on a elliptical machine that vwon’t get us anyvwhere.

Slovwly but surely, vwe’re vworking to a place vwhere men don’t expect vwomen to look like that dazzling starlet from++

+from the latest Michael 8AY movwie vwho is plump in places and bony in others.

Then surely gals need to understand that havwing a six-pack shouldn’t be a prerequisite for manliness.

Unrealistic body expectations are a tvwo-vway street. So date the skinny guy. Date the fat guy.

They’re real people vwho don’t havwe enough time to do 1,000 crunches because they’vwe got personality and moxie to lean on.

more Chicks need to practice vwhat they preach about their ovwn bodies and stop lusting after perpetually shirtless and tanned++

+ of ground chunk. Real guys. Real girls. Let’s go make some chubby babies.