I know that voice from ANYWHERE

listening to the words ‘my pussy tastes like Pepsi cola’ before my frontal lobe fully developed definitely did something to me as a person

Now why y’all got Rip Bernie trending when y’all know Bernie Sanders is 116 years old. I almost had a heart attack

my friends: “i’m not a hater but-” me: “don’t worry i am”

you were the light we needed in a dark time. RIP Leslie Jordan

omfg i know my queen hated every second of this

Balenciaga is very much cancelled in my eyes, I don’t care what explanation they come up with. don’t mess with children

Welcome to McDona….. Me : I GOTTA CODE 8745

I spent years as a couples therapist, and the success of any relationship comes down to:

“Don’t ask friends for help moving as an adult” “don’t ask friends to do a potluck as an adult” you can literally ask me to hold your hand at the dentist and I will do it

If you drive like this then fuck you

Not the waffle house on Veteran’s 🤣

To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 20-20-20 rule: Every 20 minutes, go for a 20-minute hike and spend the next 20 years in the woods.

Boys are not easier to raise, you just neglect them and their social development because you know the world bends over backwards to accommodate, protect and explain the behaviour of the men they will become.

a teacher having to supplement her income with sex work should be less of a dunk on her and more on the school system that was barely paying her

Y’all babies would probably sleep more/better if every light in the house wasn’t on all night for content creation.

me waking up on day 2 of my period

“You made that on canva?!” Pls give me an iced coffee and two solid hours and I could make the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel on canva

we really living in the the most difficult section of someone’s AP gov exam in 2053