Can I text u

It’s a great day for the San Francisco 49ers to beat the Seattle Seahawks in the Wild-Card Round.

i just remembered i was kinda drunk at work last night and was flirting with like an 80 year old woman at the end of the night for the fuck of it and she tipped me 300 dollars lol

Have we considered letting Bosa play QB?

does anyone know when it gets better

The struggle is real

yeah i still got my motherfucking wrists slit

But of course BAD OMENS

Does it get better no worries if not

His family has a chance to do the funniest thing of all time

Hey, hopefully the alarm didn’t scare you. It definitely scared me, but nothing scared me more than losing you. Wish I could scream to the world just as loud as the alarm how much I love you. I know that was just a test but I am living in a real emergency without u. Miss you.

They sent me to the psych ward the way I’m straight jackin it

me: can i get a bloody mary? bartender: a what me: bloody mary Bartender: a what me: bloody mary bartender:

Improved live laugh love just dropped

You could sit that guy on the Jedi Council and I wouldn’t blink an eye

you called?

I am sorry 'Flappy Bird' users, 22 hours from now, I will take 'Flappy Bird' down. I cannot take this anymore.

A King who doesn't is no King at all. x.com/TheRoot/status…