me pasaron dos mormones por al lado y uno le dijo al otro “cada vez más promiscuas”

Lmao

I’m at the nail shop getting my feet done and the nail tech talking about “long feet” like girl don’t make me beat yo ass

u can tell men genuinely think it’s remarkable to be nice to a woman they aren’t attracted to

I was gifted this as an Easter basket 😂

I still sing this out loud at least once a week lol

I love it when my bank app sends me an alert telling me my account is low like yeah I already know I'm a broke bitch get off my chest

i like how chill baby snow leopards are. like yeah dude put me in this bucket man i don't give a fuck.

What is the better name for a vagyne?

I stopped to put $10 in the tank yesterday and somebody in the line said damn girl you must be just driving around the block and everybody laughed at my broke ass. Heck yeah man that was so funny

people with social anxiety are vindicated constantly on this app

Great idea if you wanna have a day full of self-loathing + anxiety: Schedule a date on the first day of your period & wear an outfit that accentuates bloating then ruin your skin by exfoliating and moisturize your skin with potions you concocted from your kitchen cabinet.

$Nessi212 in case anyone wants to cashapp me money for tampons and banana pudding and salt + vinegar chips and Midol and coconut jerky and sparkling water

I had a roommate for like 3 months in college and she bought a life-size cardboard cut out of a random (not even hot) dude from a department store during their liquidation sale. She started calling it her boyfriend and going on dates with it. Slept with it at night too

I am at the stage of depression poverty where all I want to do is cry and eat Waffle House and sleep forever

Omg

Dallas is the only city in the world that would tear down something built I. M. Pei, the same guy that built **checks notes**, the fucking Louvre pyramid. The Mavs can pick any empty parking lot around Downtown or Uptown to build their stadium

$Nessi212 if anyone wants to help me fuel my car to help me on another day of apartment searching so I am not homeless tomorrow tysm