I absolutely love it when my tweets trigger the lemsip snorting wankstains

My beautiful fur babies… ♥️ #NationalPetDay

What’s better a woman that can make you laugh or a women that looks good ?

Today I’ve wiped my own arse, been to work, cleaned my house, fem freshed
My clunge, sunk a pint at the pub , cleaned up my dogs fozzas and now listening to my neighbour balls deep in Sarah 🥴🥴🥴

Prefer the term “pavement princess”

Thanks for all the birthday love, just recovered.. wanted to leave this little fact for ya 🤣🤣🤣🤣

45 years ago today my mum flopped me out her clunge in the hospital carpark followed by a massive turd, and that’s how this legend was born 🎉🎁🎈🎂🥳

🤣🤣🤣

If you get triggered by a tweet and can’t scroll past without leaving a cunty comment I reckon you smell like piss and have genital warts

🤣🤣🤣

If women are from Mars
And men are from Venus
I assume those other genders
Are pulled outta Uranus

Thank you Oliver from Stand Out Socks for my Quins ruggers socks, can’t wait to wear them at the next game, if you guys like wacky socks made and packaged with love check them out they are absolutely fabby #downsyndrome #disabilityawareness

Does anyone else’s male dog get a boner when crufts is on and start licking their own cocks, I’m hoping its because there is a wirey little pube haired schnauzer on and it’s not over Clare balding

Fuck steak and blowjob day.. I’m sure your cocks have got you in enough grief already this year without that fucking excuse

What a fucking marvellous game 🏉

Up yer bum 🏉

Can someone please make up an excellent excuse for me to not go into work today ???

Nice quiet evening planned after a long day at work, and I have to sit next to my dogs sucking each other off