Fried eggs on toasted ciabatta with smoked paprika, chives and ground chilli paste. tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg3RwWF

House-made Flapjacks a la Smith, cloaked in a silken blanket of golden syrup, escorted by a 3/4 full-cream latte. tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg3Z36l

Steel-seared blue grenadier, resplendent atop unnamed “Asian” greens and... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg3m3UA

Confit of duck leg, bludgeoned into submission with harsh language. Laid to rest alongside a humour... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg5Eryt

Ploughman’s breakfast, stile Italiano. Green-olive studded artisanal pane toscano, sliced three ways and... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg7pInu

Gourmet pizza of hot-smoked salmon swimming upstream in a “billy” ocean of mild lactates and... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg8OPKf

Frozen caramel and vanilla pudding, pressed lovingly about a wooden pole. Choc-dipped and... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsg9nFB0

Shortcrust walled garden embracing a lurid yellow curd. Cane sweetened and caressed until... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsgDg0mR

Free range hen’s egg “clouds” simmered in spring water until proteins set, eased over toasted rye planks... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsgHvkjl

Grilled protein cigars of hand fed pork mince sapori di Italia, bound in natural casings and nestled amongst... tmblr.co/Zqb4nsgvMU7E

Norwegian salmon, drunk on its own power and emotionally abusing a blanket of cowed spinach, mounted atop bronzed... tmblr.co/Zqb4ns1LUtMlO

Photo: A raft of 78 degree bovine lactose foam, adrift on a l’eau du robinet millpond passed through... tmblr.co/Zqb4ns1Lax9VE

Photo: Crusty carbohydrate balls, cheekily diving amongst plunge pools of potato nectar, studded with... tmblr.co/Zqb4ns1LoD5aw