He’d obvs been out all day for the match. He was proper mortal, it was really funny!

Goodbye Yellow Shit Gove. I'm not sure that that quite works, but fuck him, it's all I can be bothered to think of

this is what it sounds like when goves cry

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I see we’re at this stage of Tory policy announcements now.

"I'll bring back crumbly white dog shit."

I’m sorry, what? National Service? Are they actually serious? They really don’t want to win this election do they

Why do auction people dress like Rupert the Bear? #AntiquesRoadshow

Was Rupert an auctioneer?

Is she highlighting how ginger she is? #AntiquesRoadshow

‘I’d have this on my shelf’ ‘I’m taking it home’ SO FUCK OFF YOU SLJMY CUNT! #AntiquesRoadshow

I’m so boring watching it but the jokes just write themselves. And also;

I just spat wine out.

“We asked 100 people to name something you could do at the D Day commemorations? You said, Fuck off early” #ToriesAreDone

Are we gonna get Xfactor tears? #7partydebate #massdebate