A dwarf, a squire, and a contortionist walk into a brothel...

Pod the Pimp, I'll save your nose and fuck your hoes.

I took those girls to the House of Payne.

But remember that from Payne, will come pleasure.

Yo GRRM call me, I have some tips on how to manage the Mereneese Knot.

Pod sex tip #1: Foreplay is key. Make sure you trim your fingernails.

Pod sex tip #2: When servicing three whores at once make sure you give them equal time. You don't want the contortionist getting bored.

Might I recommend a 6969 position.

Don't simp like Samwell, pimp like Pod.

Just in case you were wondering, yes, I am a sex god.

Pod's sex tip of the week: Bath, THEN Lord's kiss.

For real though, congrats to my man Jon Snow. Who knew a dude from the north would be so familiar with the south.

Weddings seem dangerous, that's why I love 'em and leave 'em.