Can’t wait to see the look on my mom’s face tomorrow when I surprise her with the gift I bought her using her credit card. I think she’s gonna love it

Got the Team Water headband and the PICC line shooting sleeve on because making it rain is in my blood. Stat line from the first IM game in 4 years: 3 points 1/6 from 3 1 assist 0 rebounds 0 steals 0 turnovers 0 blocks It’s safe to say I’m back in my prime.

Beginning tonight and going forward, I will be studying with a hat on and in rally-cap style because I’m not gonna let any test hand me an L this semester #dubszn

The real question we should be asking is does last night’s incident mean that Willow can no longer sing “Whip My Hair” around Will and Jada???

My nickname might as well be origami because I be folding under pressure. For context, I tried to put on sterile gloves twice today and failed both times. In front of two nurses. And five doctors. While attempting to insert a foley catheter. I never inserted the catheter. ✌️

If my ego seems massive over the next few days it’s because I just played the best round of mini golf of my entire life so mind ya business

I don’t think ambulances should be using normal “wee-woo” sirens. I think they need to be speeding through the streets blasting the Mario Kart star power up music

If I ever text you “🧥🌋” it means it’s over, I have the high ground, so don’t try anything

A health problem that isn’t actually a problem and I wish I had it: living a sedimentary lifestyle

The pilots of the plane after announcing they’ll make the almost 2-hour flight in an hour and 13 minutes

Cocaine Bear for movie of the year. Give it every Oscar possible. A million out of ten review. This is peak cinema and anyone who argues otherwise has poor film taste. Do yourself a favor and go watch it

For lunch today I put a traditionally Italian-style sandwich, the meatball marinara, on a French baguette. And for dinner I had tacos, a classic Hispanic dish. So for anyone wondering, I do believe I am worthy of being called a man of many cultures.

Golf lesson learned today: hitting a high-visibility golf ball into the water somewhat reduces the high-visibility feature

Patrick McSweeney Bellarmine Basketball 2013- Seth Walsh Bellarmine Basketball 2022- OUR program has drawn tremendous strength from these amazing cancer survivors! Life’s lessons every day! Yesterday we admired true teammates for life. Thank you Patrick and Seth! #Family

Todays the big day. Didn’t forget it Alex McSweeney

Tiger Woods picking up Scottie Scheffler from the Louisville Police Department #freescottie

Just met my out of pocket max for the year (plan started 4 months ago). About to enjoy some free healthcare for 8 months 😎