I should have drank the Panera lemonade that kills you on the beach that makes you old when I had the chance

I don't think you heard me the first time. EVERYONE 👏 ON 👏 EPSTEIN'S 👏 LIST 👏 DESERVES 👏 PRISON 👏 I DON'T 👏 CARE 👏 WHAT 👏 THEIR 👏 POLITICS 👏 ARE 👏

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what’s it called when you’re super insecure but at the same time you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Wait… Aquaman hosted Ozzy Osbourne’s FINAL show?? IM SCARED 😭

Idk which friend gave you ptsd but baby you do not have to pay me back for a 3 dollar mcchicken

men discovering consent is so funny

Easily one of the funniest things i have seen in a long time. Perfect. No notes. Put it in a museum.

smoking with a white girl rn she sayin thank u every time I pass the blunt 😩

Since summer is almost over here’s list of all the places I’ve been able to visit so far: 1. Work 2. Home

The earth isn’t flat. 😊

i’ve never seen more self control in my life than him not laughing after she screamed like homer simpson

Pearl got a boyfriend and we never heard from her again. It really do be that simple

definitely. ocd is severely under-diagnosed bc they think it’s *exclusively* about cleanliness and organization, when sometimes it’s about when you suddenly imagine everyone you love dying to the point where you gotta hit yourself to avoid thinking about it

The fact that a biopic is being discussed while Luigi Mangione is facing the death penalty shows how his right to a fair trial keeps being compromised.

A woman who is on her fourth marriage after three divorces is petitioning the Supreme Court to overturn same-sex marriage to protect the sanctity of marriage.

I would simply be nice to Carrie