Mrs. Maisel truly makes me feel seen, as a skinny brunette bitch who physically cannot shut up

Me: (eats something with tomato in it) DM: Take 2d6 acid damage. You are now incapacitated.

Me: The show's called Urinetown Every single person I talk to: Sounds disgusting. Why would anyone want to watch that? That's literally the worst possible title I can even think of Me:

Whatever happened to this emoticon? :P I haven't seen her around in a while. :P I guess folks these days are not playfully sticking their tongues out as much as they used to. :P

stunning! Tom Bombadil arrives at the 2023 Met Gala

hot unreliable narrator summer

Happy international mommy issues day to all who celebrate

I am quite possibly the only person in history to audition for Little Sally and get cast as Officer Lockstock

me: okay... knight to c3 chess dot com: Cletus' Gambit fumbled, Dipshit variation

(smiling coyly) is there a Mrs. Brightside?

Yeah, I'm a gamer

ME: I'm home! Aren't you happy? MY DAD: (fully anticipating I was going to say "what's new") Not much!

Rescuing beetles from the pool and watching them dry off their wings and fly directly back into the water

My play opens tonight! 1 like = 1 "break a leg kiddos"

the only reason I knew twitter was changing its name was because I heard my teenage students talking about it. I am no longer chronically online.

I can be your angle... or yuor devil

this is gonna be me when the Girlyman 20th anniversary record ships

Miss my good tweets? Have some mid ones instead! ⬇️