fruit loops are just gay cheerios.

#NewProfilePic

Hurt people, hurt people.

Me: “hey boss, can I ask you a question?” Boss: “what’s up”. Me: “does Lightning McQueen have life insurance, or car insurance?” Boss: *smiles, “you’re such a dork”. Boss 30s later*: “obviously life insurance..”

I love when my mans is like:”where are you?” “who are you with?” Like YES BABE, YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED. I JUST SMUGGLED $25 WORTH OF CANDY IN A $5 MOVIE.

can we skip the college part and go straight to where I am financially stable with a good looking spouse and 4 dogs

I feel that the only coping mechanism I have at the gym is watching food network on the treadmill...oops.*.

Sometimes I look back at old summer snaps, and realize how tan I was. & now I look like Voldemort, double cheeked up pale face...ON A THURSDAY AFTERNOON THE SUN IS STILL SHINING

Does anyone keep all their voicemails that are important to them and then subconsciously worrying about the day your mailbox fills up and you’ll have to choose who gets deleted? Because same.

kiss you at a red light & have a Polaroid of you on my dash kinda love

me being clingy with my person

NO CAP: DOES ANYONE GET CRAVINGS AT 2AM & WISH THEY HAD ONE OF THOSE SPY KIDS MICROWAVES? CUZ SAME. 🍟🍔🌮🍕

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way.” - C.S. Lewis