32 #soxmath

If I text you “🏠🍔” that means I’m going to house your burger. If I text you “💯✅” than means I’m going to eat the whole thing. If I text you “✋🙃🤚” that means I’m jokin’ I think you should leave turbo team I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩

me to my 4 year old son: i just got off the phone with santa and he is so angry about what you did that i am genuinely afraid for your life. we need to put you in hiding because at this point i think he would even kill me to get to you.

Sometimes I stay up till 1230 AM to catch Young Sheldon on TBS

I love heavily moisturizing my feet, putting socks and shoes on, and squishing around town

I wish more people would throw me parties and give me gifts

I cant believe I'm dating the hottest woman in all of the south pole

The best part about cooking with wine is that I just end up drinking an entire bottle of wine with dinner

Me to the guy going the speed limit in the passing lane

I always hear people say they get ads for baby stuff before they even know theyre pregnant. So when I get ads like this...

The fact that it costs 25-35 dollars for a 15 minute haircut makes me glad I'm going bald

Hot take: eating McDonalds for lunch every day would make me perfectly happy & healthy

They should remake Dark Side of the Moon but just cut out all the junk

Lo-Fi baby Yoda sounds to study and relax to

Can't wait for fat boy summer

We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky ✨️