Ik my parents HATE to see me bringing common sense to a conversation

Cant believe it is 2024 and I still have to see boat shoes and man-buns

Who the fuck got jake paul pregnant

Of course he invented the iron Dome. Look at the Iron Dome on this guy lmaoooo. This is the ultimate dome piece

“I voted for him for cheap groceries”

Theres just something about seeing a white man in his 40s wearing chrome hearts that doesn’t sit right

Do I even have to say it again at this point? Apple Music >>>

so i just learned about Mack Hollins…

You put ONE banana in a smoothie and that bitch wanna be the Beyoncé of the group.

she writes music for people who get depressed over losing their favorite marker

“Not us sinking”

Me in a k-hole:

KATRINA KATRINA KATRINA

my 1-2 year plan is to infiltrate an open marriage on Hinge and attempt to seize their real estate assets

Time to be an island boi (Me in Kona for a week)

Me trying to impress droid trade at the rave

any man under 5’6 is a labubu

The (gay) urge to stumble across a random hottie online, like 5 pics and vanish.

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.