“Hey, you know what would pair nicely with all this bread and tomato sauce? Even more bread and tomato sauce.” - the person who decided to make pizza and breadsticks a thing, probably

the amount of times in a day i that i hear myself yell “well fucking DRIVE THEN”

Do you ever just

it's dangerous to go alone take this

Music sounds better when it’s your playlist

I can awkwardly hop over my open suitcase in the middle of my hotel room approximately 84 times, each and every time thinking, “wow what a terrible place for that I should move it” before ever actually stopping and moving it to a better location and that’s why adhd is a lil BITCH

Bro how are you supposed to have a full time job, cook and clean, maintain relationships, and work on your own little projects. Seems fake

Shrek is sort of like a Christmas movie you can watch at any time

Why do freezer pops take so long to freeze? I bought 100 for $6 and all I’m asking for is to be able to cONSUME EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM IMMEDIATELY UPON PURCHASE

hey I never planned on being alive after highschool so I'm going thru life completely blind and ur watching Disney channel ʌ ʌ (TωT)フー☆・*。

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Hazbin Hotel is a bop Yes I mean the show Yes I mean the songs HAZBIN HOTEL IS A BOP

HERE COMES VI