No amount of hurt I face will ever cut as deep as the time when a kid at work told me that I looked 30 when I told her I was 19

Maybe the real Donda was the friends they made along the way

Bro I took high school so seriously and for what now I’m just a depressed college student with a crippling fear of failure like it wasn’t even that deep

Just lost a race up the merging ramp to a soccer mom in a Toyota Sienna. Absolute menace

Shoutout to the guy who helped me change my windshield wipers and then had a 15 minute conversation with me about how to maintain them in the Walmart parking lot. Real heroes don’t wear capes but they sure can wear Bengals masks

With each passing day my car gets one gear change closer to exploding into a ball of scorching flame

If I get one more Debate Me or IQ test livestream on my Tik Tok feed I’m fully descending into villainous activities

Hot take: peppermint in the winter > pumpkin spice in the fall

McDonald’s hotcake review: not nearly as good as I remember them 14 years ago when I ate them shortly before throwing up in the back of my Nana’s car, but still quite good. The chocolate milk, also thrown up, was very disappointing in comparison to the 2007 version

Pizza Hut refund me my $28.99 or I will intervene

Professors really do be waiting until their students are at their most stressed point in the semester to assign the most work huh

As soon as it turns September 1st I get a case of the sniffles for five consecutive months. It occurs every year with fail

every crew got the silly homie with an air of profound sadness about him

Every two or so years I rediscover eggs and toast and then I’m like “wow this is so good” despite eating it for my entire life

Covid saw that I was going through it this year and got too scared to try anything

My heart goes out to everyone with seasonal allergies who are fearing for their lives against omicron right now

Why do people worry about what’s in the vaccine when Vienna sausages exist

Normalize snow days for non-essential jobs

Boldly Bearcat in honor of the legend Bob Roat

“Your hair is beautiful, I hope that you have many children!” - old lady to me while at work