As a male comedian, my preferred pronouns are He/He/He. #petewhitepuns

Gangsters born between 1946-1964 are known as ‘Bada Boomers’ #lunchpun #RateMyPun

I tried one of those self defence classes. Won’t be doing that again, you go in and some Brazilian dude hits you. #LunchPun

In theatres in Russia, actors tell each other to ‘Break Oleg!’ #petewhitepuns

When I was a kid, I had a black friend, whose name was Christopher Lloyd. When I say he was black, he was actually more of a Doc Brown. #LunchPun #petewhitepuns

I’m running late for my Pfizer shot. I’m going to have to shake a leg. #petewhitepuns #Pfizer

It’s rumoured that Prince William was spotted looking for drugs at the Coronation. Apparently he’s first in line after Charlie. #petewhitepuns #Coronation

“Can you tell what it is yet?” #petewhitepuns

I was at a pub quiz and didn’t know the answer to the following question. “Who played the title role in ‘Perry Mason’ and ‘Ironside’?” I couldn’t Raymond Burr the actors name! #petewhitepuns #Ironside #PerryMason #RaymondBurr

Dave: “There’s a taxi driver whose car is shaped and coloured like an eggplant.” Gene: “Really?” Dave: “Yeah, it’s an Uber, Gene.” #petewhitepuns

What was Osama Bin Laden’s favourite dessert? Terrormisu. #petewhitepuns

In a recent poll to find the best ‘Beatles’ song, it was so close, that they had to get in an heyjudecator. #petewhitepuns #TheBeatles

The person who cut down the Sycamore Gap tree, at Hadrian’s Wall, is only a young feller. #petewhitepuns #HadriansWall #sycamoregaptree

“I’d like to introduce you to my mate, Jean, from Northern France. He’s a huge fan of the movie, ‘Scarface.’ Say hello to my Lille friend!” #petewhitepuns #Scarface #gags #jokes #Lille

Which ‘Simpson’ character had their own range of exercise bikes? Apu Nahasapeemapeloton #petewhitepuns #TheSimpsons #puns #jokes

My friend’s wife is expecting their first child. I asked him if he was worried about being kept up all night, by a crying baby. He said, “No, I’ll sleep when I’m dad.” #petewhitepuns

I’ve just started the ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ skin treatment. I’m Axel Foleyating. #petewhitepuns

An Israeli Intelligence officer has been sacked after his appalling treatment of his female colleagues. He’s a Mossadginist. #petewhitepuns

What do Alec Baldwin, Sebastian Stan and Benjamin Netanyahu have in common? They’ve all played Donald Trump. #25thAmendantNow #FREEPALESTİNE #ReleaseTheTrumpEpsteinFiles #TrumpsIranWarIsAFailure