I asked my gf what she wanted for her birthday, and she replied "Nothing would make me happier than diamonds." So I got her "Nothing".

Calling your Girlfriend beautiful cause your cock isn't gonna suck it's self.

I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.

#ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear No More Airports

Elvis Presley hated John Lennon and wanted to beat him up for his anti-war stance.

#ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear I Pizza you.

Snapchat was originally marketed as an app to send nude pictures called Picaboo.

Brett Lee to Mike Hussey! Is it 1999? #BBL04

In case you were worried, Space Jam is still online (2014-12-27 10:00:11 UTC)

#ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear "Pizza is here"

"What The F*** Facts: Da Vinci was almost put to death for committing sodomy." Me too

"Movies Memories 🎥: Text love pic.x.com/ggIKzUwvET" scott goodwin

"Bae: if we date pic.x.com/WvmYvEAnRl" John Belgre

#ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear there's free food.

The Space Jam website is still online (2014-12-27 12:00:11 UTC)

Real men cry about the things they love