Listening to someone telling a story and thinking to yourself, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

If you instantly text me back, I love you a little more than everyone else.

If strippers are called exotic dancers, drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists.

I laugh during inapropriate situations.

And then Satan said, "Put the alphabet in math."

person: *doesn't reply*me: they hate meme: i hate meme: everyone hates me

My wish: To eat without getting fat.

How's your day going? ... Haha, I'm just kidding. I don't give a fuck.