Someone give James Corden a Grammy for this

#flies look mom! I'm on TV!

And to think, just days ago I was a little maggot.

I'm proud to be Mike Pence's only black friend!

The whole dumpster is going to be so proud that I found The Prince of Lies!

His hair product tastes awful.

Sometimes you can only take the stench for two minutes and three seconds. #flyisonhead #flygate #fly

My first portrait!

Nobody told me I'd need a mask for this piece of shit.

Surprise! I'm in your TV, not on it! x.com/champagnekathy…

I made The New York Times! And they said I'd never mount a pile of shit! nytimes.com/2020/10/07/us/…

Despite what people are saying, I have not yet checked into Walter Reed. Feeling great!

Really, I couldn't tell the difference between the hair gel and my saliva.

While I'm all for Biden & Kamala I've never forgiven Obama for what he did to my family. youtube.com/watch?v=Qfv2c0…

CNN is going to interview me! x.com/jaketapper/sta… #flygate

I'm offended at this! store.joebiden.com/truth-over-fli…

I never imagined that I could make such an impact!

I still can't get the gel off my tarsal hairs.

What's with the fly line-ups?