Me going on Truecaller to see who’s calling instead of picking

When ur social battery is dead but u see the biggest yapper approaching u

I don't like being asked “Are you at home?" Please expand further so I can know whether I'm at home or not.

Me agreeing with people, so they'll just stop talking

I feel bad for kids who were born with Netflix. They’ll never know what it’s like to run to the bathroom during commercials while your brother yells........ “IT’S STARTING”

nothin pissss me off more than wakin up & my bonnet not on my head 😭😭

Nobody uses Netflix less than the person actually paying for the subscription 😭

my contribution to adulthood is that i won’t be obsessed with being greeted. i don’t even want you to talk to me 😭😭

I act like I’m okay, but deep down I really want to go to Spain and watch a Barcelona game😩😩

"where did your money go" i'm either wearing it or i ate it

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

EVERY FUCKING YEAR THESE STUPID FUCKING SCRIPTWRITERS

Araújo realising he’s not the one getting blamed for a Champions League red card for once 😭

us every single year:

when the Uber driver just greets you and then takes you to your destination without any chit-chat

الصباح اللي يجي بعد خسارة برشلونة

me ready to crash out because i can still feel the oil on the plastic container after the 5th wash:

the AUDACITY of my body to be tired after i gave it 8 hours of sleep. like bro i gave you everything.