As it should be 😌

Is it too early to get a #FIRESCHEYER chant going ???

I have never bought a girlfriend flowers because those eventually wilt, and I want our love to grow. Instead, I buy them S&P500 Index Funds with little to no expense ratio. I am so lonely

“You’ve received a rose on Hinge!” The rose giver in question:

Campus Enterprises gave me chlamydia in college

If you’re a 5’5” brunette Jewish university of michigan alumnus who needs a companion in this time of need I am here for you

Want to get that early promotion at work? Tell your team Happy January 6th today

If you’re doing dry January I’d like to remind you that you can also just kill yourself

-20000 that if Rihanna doesn’t sing disturbia I kms

Every girl’s boyfriend looking particularly ugly and poor this valentine’s day

Posting an insta story of yours parents’ anniversary is worse than most war crimes committed in the last 20 years

auto slims moment

“AI is going to take over the world” “Chat GPT is too powerful!” yea yea clam it what is this shit

If you ran a 5 hour marathon do not be posting about that shit dawg get back in the gym

watching Bacot be unbelievably mid for the 8th year in a row

me and the boys in line for automatic slims

Right wing fans of The Boys finally realizing the show has been making fun of them the entire time

I understand the whole taking out trump taking out Elon blah blah….someone’s gotta take out dickie v man

find me busty emo bushwick women NOWWWW