Usually they'd save the weirdo stuff for the Opening Ceremony. Congrats #Paris2024 for flipping the script. #ClosingCeremony

Part of me forgets how much Sofia Copolla like French music. This reminds me that this Closing Ceremony needs more Bill Murray. #ClosingCeremony

When you see a trade so stupid, you have to check the sports site to see if somebody hacked their socials. Luka & AD... 😂😂😂😂 #NBATradeDeadline #NBA

Just saw the trailer for the documentary "Cheech & Chong's Last Film". The only thing that was missing was them in a graveyard. Chong weeping while saying his iconic "Dave's Not Here Man Line" then cutting to a tombstone that says: Here Lies Dave.

When you realize that one of the biggest victims of the Cena Heel Turn is Ron Killings.

Brady Corbett's next film will be "Adrian Brody's Second Oscar Speech" #JustAsLongAsTheBrutalist #oscars

Sure Trinity is part of the Bloodline but the Bloodline that she's repping in that Caution Tape outfit is Hart. #SmackDown WWE

The Oscars: We produced a four hour binge of self gratification. Kevin Feige: Hold My Highly Tariffed Champagne. #AvengersDoomsday

RFK Jr.: Autism Is Preventable. Autistic People: Yeah It's Called A Condom. #ActuallyAutistic #Autism #RFKJr

I just had a bowel movement. It Took The Name "Poop Leo XIV" #PopeLeoXIV

Am I the only guy who wants to see Mr. Iguana vs. Santino Marella this year TNA Wrestling Bound For Glory?

Ja Morant to the Raptors? I mean we do have gun control laws. It might be the best for him.

This Netflix theme has been Def Rebel'd. Oh wait this is what it always sounds like. Def Rebel here's the one actual theme that you might actually be able to improve. #SmackDown WWE

I bet before you get to The Gates Of Hell this Netflix @wwe theme is what's playing before you get checked in for an eternity of suffering. #SmackDown

When your signal takes longer then Veer took to return to #WWERaw. #SmackDown WWE

Hey @wwe by you'll be back shortly do you mean an Ultimate Warrior Entrance or an Undertaker Entrance? #SmackDown

This Guy On A Couch #OddThingsFoundOnACruise

I don't know what comes first: The Chicken or The Egg, but I do know that autism proceeded Tylenol by centuries at least. #Autism #TYLENOL

Part 1 of #WrittenByPat These are jokes that I can't use in my act. Enjoy my "Subdivision" Joke.

As a Bears fan for sure, this offseason we've gotta work on our cardio. #BearDown