I made a fake Lighthouse report for some writing, but after some edits it no longer fit, so posting it here I guess

If you ever feel bad about your webperf, this is the loading experience of $70B market cap Aetna on 1gbps fiber, 10ms RTT - just the unstyled word "Loading" for ~7 seconds - a useless interstitial at 14s - skeleton UI that doesn't remotely resemble the content - CLS for days

Here's a suggestion for a way to contribute to open source projects: put together an unsolicited usability test with yourself as the subject Make very detailed notes as you try out a tool for the first time, then send a link to your notes to the maintainers

Love this visualization from Patrick Hulce showing the average cost and total impact of script execution on Pages. Hard to help clients understand the #webperf implications of technology decisions. thirdpartyweb.today

typeof undefined !== 'undefined'

Having COVID almost exactly 2 years apart, the power of the triple dose vax is incredible 🙏 2020 baseline: marathon shape 5 days in: blacked out moving from couch to bed Full lung recovery: ~18 months, probably never 100% 2022: symptoms gone in 3 days, back to 🏃‍♂️ after day 5

I ported Zelda Classic, a 20+ year old C++ Allegro program, to the web: hoten.cc/blog/porting-z…

It's time people knew the TRUTH about their own websites

Yea.. well.. Dreamweaver had them...

The WebPageTest™ has been _cranking_ on this for awhile and it's finally time to share! I could not be more excited to unveil our new Opportunities & Experiments—a way to let you test performance optimizations without touching a single line of code. blog.webpagetest.org/posts/introduc…

#BREAKING: Everything.

🤩 Great news! You can now export and measure your Chrome DevTools Recorder user flows with the WebPageTest™. Install the extension and try it out now! bit.ly/wpt-recorder p.s: Want to create an extension? Sure, here is how goo.gle/recorder-exten…

This thread perfectly captures my startup experience too. Can't pretend that throwing 100% of your life into a thing for a while doesn't make you more knowledgable about that thing than you otherwise would have been.

This is essentially fraud. The makers of the software cheat to achieve the impression of improvement. WP sites use the software to improve their page experience ranking. But that is based on Core Web Vitals which cannot be cheated with this mechanism.

Half of y'all these days 😂

I had another 👶 a few months back! 🎉 Turned off Twitter during leave though and everyone left? Haha, you can also find me on the mammoth-like alternative if you so choose :)

America's Sweethearts is the new Hard Knocks, and it's not even close. Pour one out for the quality rookie-make-the-cut show that died for the sake of an NFL fluff piece.