"My name is Dave, I live in a 1-BR apartment in Brooklyn, and for the last 11 months I’ve been tormented by my landlord, a giant raccoon from post-war rural Japan who exists as a metaphor to explain the mysteries of the world through the eyes of a child." mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-la…

"He isn’t the best drummer we’ve seen, he absolutely WAILS on The Killers’ 'Mr. Brightside,' our crowd-pleasing set-closer. He’s an emotional tidal wave when he crashes those cymbals. Hammers the toms like he’s coping with serious life shit." mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-thi…

mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-thi…

"I've been a vegetarian for a long time and I hate it." Can't think of a better review for Impossible Burger.

“Sure, Just Dance counts as exercise. I mean is exercise. Is. Go ahead and have 30 minutes while I fill this wine carafe with scotch.” Patrick McKay has some thoughts on keeping a chill vibe when Mom’s not around. link.medium.com/6IWRuNIT2hb

I like the white Kraken jerseys better. The dark blue look like Bob Newhart’s pajamas. #SeattleKraken

After a long hiatus, episode 5 of #Pandemerica is out. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pan…

Biting the bullet and skipping straight to the draft. And my prediction. #Seahawks #2022 #MalikWillis

I'm a believer.

I bet they're working HARD on that one.

Totally. #MalikWillis

Very true. Willis expected to go 21-ish, so it could happen!

When I pay someone on Venmo I’m terrified I’m also sending one of those awful animated stickers that come up.

Gender.

I called it. Well. No, actually, I didn’t. Had no idea this could happen. How did this happen?

Method Man, Raekwon, and the Wu-Tang Clan Design Everything I Buy My Newborn - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency mcsweeneys.net/articles/metho…

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cov…

Did he say, "Hey, Diedrich man"?

That itinerary makes no sense. Instead do JFK > O’Hare > Newark then just take the train.