Last night I had a dream that Arby’s was developing an MRI machine that works underwater so I had to help with testing (pulling bags of severed limbs and dead bodies out of the water from failed experiments??)

I shot my shot. I asked Lisa Hughes to follow me on insta cuz she’s my fav reporter on WBZ 🤞

Just took the Pfizer vaccine

Hi sorry lookit my titty!!

All the hot Toronto dads on Grindr keep telling me to move here so now I’m on the verge of tears at the bar

Hobbies include fabricating sexual tension with the guy in front of me on the highway

Trying to explain to people that this is as good as the beard gets. It will only get worse from here.

Had my first Malört experience and I absolutely loved it

Smoking a cigarette listening to Christine and the Queens in French like “yes, this is proper.”

this is so cunt

It’s so wild how 15 years ago I had to manipulate my (entry level) dslr to do any kind of astrophotography and now I can get pictures like this on my phone

Tonsillectomy went well! I am now stealing what’s left of Mitch McConnell’s life energy to get better. Not much for me to take tbh.

Today, after hours of troubleshooting, I got to employ my favorite fix. “Is it plugged in?”