Happy Father's Day! Did you know mine's dead? So why don't you buy a ticket TODAY in his ice-cream loving, hit by a car getting honor??? Show is in a week! buytickets.at/guyznitecomedy… Use Promo Code "PATRICK" for 15% off at checkout!!

So fucking pumped about my set tonight. Shit went so well HaHa Comedy Club

If he wouldn't do this just to beat you at a pointless game? Cut him loose youtu.be/jPCJIB1f7jk?si…

Holy... Forkin... Shirt.... THIS is the Bad Place

Ok real talk? Megan 2.0 was fucking dope. Waaaaaaaaay better than #1

Fuck ICE

I'm really good at making mediocrity look cool 😂

The new Always Sunny x Abbot Elementary crossover is fucking PEAK television

Hollow Knight fucking slaps. Dear Lord 🔥🔥

FUCK THIS BITCH (IYKYK) #HollowKnight

This heat wave has me like Freddie McNerney

Taylor Swift fans are in a cult

Forgot to mention today.... SHAW!!!! #GetGood

FIT CHECK FOR MY NAPALM ERA

Imma just nonchalantly share this... youtu.be/eg3_kUaYFJA?si…

If Taylor Swift farted into a microphone her cult would say it was a masterpiece

Seeing Ben Schwartz at The Orpheum Theatre!!! Fucking stoked

Watched "The Ugly Stepsister" tonight... Would've never thought I'd see a feature film that involved body mutilation, hanging dong, and a close-up of Cinderella's butthole... I said what I said

Bad Bunny should bring out HUNTR/X or Black Pink as one of the special features during the Super Bowl. Let's get as many languages in there as possible and watch the racists lose their minds 😂

Holy fuck... I'm the Dr. Cox of my workspace 😂😂