Me: I got a nice tan!
Black & Asian coworkers: I guess…?
Me: *lifts shirt hem, compares arm to belly*
Coworkers: OH MY GOD

Doug Jones Joyce Alene a pet sitter neglect/pet death & a beloved Twitter Dr is in need of some help & a pro-bono or inexpensive lawyer in Birmingham area. Out of country when bad things happened & returning home soon. Please see her TL for unsettling details. Can you help?

Hey, if any of my fellow legal peeps on here are from Alabama and willing to help this lovely person out (and be the channel for our collective rage), pls let us know…

My patients never complain about having to wait. Or about much of anything, come to think of it 🤔

Forensic pathologists are real pathologists.

Little Kid #1: Mom, can we get Taco Bell?
Little Kid #2: NO! Y’all gonna be FARTIN’!

One of my med school friends is a doc in rural Alaska and they have STORIES.

Like the time during peak Covid when they borrowed O2 tanks from the local welding shop because the hospital ran out & the weather was too bad to airlift anyone to the Lower 48 for days.

Prepping a forensics lecture for trainees in another country and I realised that so many of my example cases involve gunshot wounds and/or opioid overdoses.

It’s fucked up how quotidien (literally) this shit is over here.

Me: “I think we should do a posterior neck dissection on this one.”
Autopsy tech: “Dr. Swiftie. I thought we were friends!”
Me: “Now we got bad blood.” 🤷🏻‍♀️

The first rule of dark & twisty humor in healthcare is don’t fucking post about it on social media.

What’s a crazy night on the job for us is the night someone else’s world comes crashing down. Remember that.

“I’m not that worried about trauma—my gut feeling is they were septic and coagulopathic as hell. But I doubt ‘It’s giving sepsis’ would stand up in court, so I did the trauma workup anyway.”

Custodian: “Hey Doc, can I show you something?”

Me: “Sure! What’s up!”

Custodian: *pulls up a picture on his phone* “My son graduated from pharmacy school and I’m just so proud!”

🥹🖤

Me to me: Don’t make Communist jokes in the union meeting don’t make Communist jokes in the union meeting Do not make Communist jokes in the union meeting don’t do it do not