If I won the lottery I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs

Sausage party is genuinely one of the scariest movies I’ve seen, and I’ve seen a fuckton of movies. I had to walk out of the theater cause the food orgy scene was so scary. And yes I was violently high

Babe wake up, new bluey hospital squishmallow and new hospital blanket just dropped ‼️‼️💯😤

“Only bring essentials to the hospital” bet, I’m bringing legos, baseball, womens soccer, & Pokémon trading cards 😌 also new blanket & bluey squishmallow (bingo had a rough day he gets a cig treat) but...do I finally crack the 151 UPC?? Hospital pulls should be on my side 🫡

cass Pokémon Meech Pokemon Drops Goodluck with the pulls 🙏

Having ice cream for breakfast free will is so much fun

When you ask gays what their Halloween costume is

Found an ancient relic in my house today

Normal 28 year olds asking for Christmas presents: could I get a theragun, nice perfume/cologne, an exclusive color Stanley cup, a new purse/wallet, a weighted blanket etc. Me: yo mom & dad get me a stash of hot wheels street wieners

Jacob Elordi kind of gives Christian Bale in The Machinist in Frankenstein, like the way he moves especially when they first create him is eerily similar, Guillermo del Toro killed it once again that man does not miss 🫡

I’m in a group chat with a lot of my moms friends from work, shes a teacher so age varies but I am very much the youngest & only “child” in the group chat even though some have kids my age too 😂 I get invited out to everything, I’m a comedian in that group chat I love it so much

Being an aunt is SO fun for Christmas shopping, like yes I’m making a 5 month old a stocking, no I also don’t know what’s supposed to go in a 5 month olds stocking but I’m trying my best 🤷🏻‍♀️

Therapist: the labubong isn’t real it can’t hurt you The labubong:

huge news for the people who loved disney channel original movie ‘cow belles’ growing up

Begging everyone to watch Borderline, Samara Weaving clears, Alba Baptista randomly steals the show in the best way, Ray Nicholson obviously clears with the insane facial expressions & looks into a mirror/camera, soundtrack goes CRAZY, perfect line of humor & “what the FUCK?” 🤌🏻

Netflix should have a feature where if I get mad at the actors/actresses/writers I can press a button on the remote and it’ll throw a tomato at the screen