Who the hell puts on a washing machine on a long programme at 10pm? I’m up at 6am ffs

Only I would join a gym that’s being refurbished and has very limited facilities. Cancelling membership tomorrow and requesting a refund 😢 there goes my excitement

Things that confuse me: 1. Why people who never smoked, vape

Gays have no perception of distance they’re like hehe you should come see me in Australia

I detest the Tories

Thinking of getting a tattoo in Manchester. Any ideas? Would be my first. Help a gay out

Sad news. Actress Angela Lansbury has died, according to a family statement. She was 96 years old, just five days shy of her 97th birthday.

My first attempt at a thirst trap 😂

I would like the British to apologise for why I’m writing this tweet in English, why the island of Ireland is partitioned, why the country was nearly entirely depopulated of native forests to build British fleets, and why millions of Irish people fled across the world from them

Someone explain to me what a himbo is?

Same

summoning circle, hope this works 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 Tory collapse 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Only I would be laughing like mad at Halloween ends 😆

Lol today is gonna be a long day. Never underestimate the need for sleep

After 9 years in McDonald’s I’ll move on to a new job and I can’t say how excited and happy I am #newbeginnings #newchapter

💯 You don’t need to keep anyone in your life. You don’t owe them anything.

Last day in McDonald’s after so many years #TheEnd

Whoever invented top up electric and gas meters needs to be kicked up the arse

Why is Apple Pay not working today with my Lloyds card?

if you were everyone’s cuppa tea you’d be a mug 👍 remember that x