I was thinking about my handwriting today and remembered in school when we'd correct our "neighbor's" work sheet I'd erase and write the correct answer to help that person's score if I thought I could get away with it

I just completed the first cash transaction at Ember & Elm at Dolly Parton 's new resort Heartsong and then took maybe the first ever mirror selfie in the bathroom

This sound guy calls anything that isn't a guitar, bass guitar, or drums a banjo let's go

Call me Darth Mault Liquor

I'm playing bingo nobody text

I had a moment of worrying about going bald today but it all went away when I realized that when that happens I'll just shave my head and get my scalp tattooed

"I can tell your parents had a water bed when you were growing up"

This place has the smell of a bar that is meticulously cleaned for good reason

If boomers don't stop calling someone making a copycat facebook profile being "hacked" I will delete all of facebook

There's still time

Yall shouldn't have taught me the word aubergine