Is there any better cold open than the cold open of S1E1 of The Patriot? No. The answer is no.

"I must have forgotten to hit send on this" is the "dog at my homework" of corporate America. ✨✨✨NO ONE BELIEVES YOU, PAL ✨✨✨

The person in 17A is using their keyboard with such ferocity that my seat has been transformed into a massage chair.

it just keeps getting better and better.

Anyway.

Iam here at wegdmerns to do some grosheryshopping. defector.com/wife-needs-cru…

OH on this Amtrak: “hey do you see that building over there?” (Points at a UNH building) “I smoked a joint with Abbie Hoffman in that place.” 😂

Somewhere someone is covering the Sex Pistols

Charles I and Charles II is some crazy drama, though.

Ok I never share these but… Wordle 459 2/6 🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Please add me to your wordle group text chat

never stop trending, lesbians.

Welp.

I’m @[email protected] on Mastodon just fyi💋

I mean I *don’t* want to be here anymore but also it *is* very funny right now. #conflicted