Naps may be the most despicable aspect of human existence. Oh you’re tired? Just sleep for a little bit and you’ll wake up EVEN more tired

Billie eilish fans found my tiktok and they are quite unhappy

Meanwhile on instagram

Me in preschool when the teacher put the blocks away and brought out the books

I imagine hell is just a world where you are constantly doing dishes and laundry over and over

Gambling is a hilarious concept because people try to win back money by doing the thing that lost them the money in the first place

Someone somewhere just bought a Rolex from their ai-generated onlyfans accounts

Alright I may have to step in soon

“Do you wanna round up for starving children” -the company worth 50 gajillion dollars YOU DO IT BRUH

Chat gpt has single-handedly destroyed education cause I just heard a SENIOR IN COLLEGE say “if the tests were in person I was gonna drop the class” these mfs are STUPID

“YEAH I JUST WORKED FORTY HOURS THIS WEEK I’M GONNA PUT IT ALL INTO $GAYASSHOLECOIN”

I think I’m gonna come out of retirement as a drake hater, YOU’RE 38

Go to the gym it’s fun

I miss him so much 💔

Gendered deodorant scents piss me off. Why do girls get to smell like flowers and candy while guys are supposed to smell like trees and gorilla balls?

Growing up is realizing how many people have mild autism

If I had a nickel for every time I woke up to death threats from billie eilish fans, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

I fucking hate stinky ass cigarettes get that shit out of my face

First time watching the sopranos and I can safely say this is the most unlikeable fictional character ever created