Me: What do you do? Him: I work in accounting Me: I'm pretty good at accounting but I'm better at aspelling

I haven't been watching. Has everyone in Hollywood saved the planet yet?

I have nothing to say but here I am saying it anyway

I've never been the kind of person to tweet some song lyrics, but fuck, this is tempting.

I did some organizing and found a lot of ammunition that I forgot about. If the zombies come, let me know before you just pop up on my porch.

I turned 50 today. All is over.

If you could fly away to anywhere, where would it be?

What is the one thing you want but will never have?

This is just for the guys. Who is the sexiest woman ever? It can be movies, TV, whatever.

We'll see who gives a damn

Fuck, I'm done.

Five people had jobs for my funeral. I just fired four. If you care about me (and only if you care about me) apply below. Eulogy is taken, everything else is wide open.

youtu.be/ZcD45TPOPYc Courtney Colson

Sithwhore Can I buy Betsy a birthday present through you? I'm not asking for a discount, but I don't know what she could use. Trying to leave lots of time.

I have lived 50 years. I've been in two fights. Fuck with my daughter and I will tear your throat out.

Four. I wish it were six. Figure it out.

I'm going to seem stupid, but Twitter is ok. I met my best friend here, and I love @Smooheed with no reservations

What the Hell, roll the bones. We'll see how things work out.