I am alarmingly pale. I can’t believe my mother decided to procreate with someone pale. the audacity.

That’s the part that makes me mad about balding men, they make the rest of us witness it.

i made one !!

I just wanna know who gave parking/towing people the audacity to have that much attitude.

Bitches an hiccups I STG

Bitches

i don’t care about men’s heights. you know what they say, they’re all the same height when they’re letting you down

I'd just like to go on record and say the Raleigh-Durham area is a complete dorks dungeon and black hole from hell. Get in - get out. Before it's too late. #dorks #rdu #loserville

every time I see this interview it gets worse.

shooting my shot at my work crush by adding him on LinkedIn first

Oh, you didn’t have any taste before Covid either, honey

I wanna love a girl the way Tyre loves English soccer, coffee, and Epstein conspiracy theories

If you ever wondered what my friends in real life think of me