green tea shots are the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world

all adventurous women do

I'm gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful like a tweet or a close friends story

have you guys tried the be nice to emma challenge

everybody talking about weight checks at the crowbar show but what about a squat rack at the door

wearing all black and refusing to eat a hot dog today isn’t owning conservatives you sound retarded

whiskey for my macs beer for my emmas

vlad think he alex g. alex g think he the beatles. the beatles think they oasis.

my bad i didn’t know we were going to the thrift when i put on my full vintage fit, tabis, gaultier bag, and vivienne earrings

there is a thick cloud of glossier you over the line to get into the “secret” alex g show

you’re talking to yourself in his dms while his grandma is giving me family heirlooms. fuck you.

men will write an entire record about getting revenge for something they made up and yet i’m the bad guy

proud owner of the only neck tattoo at the neil young show

all the baddest bitches have august birthdays