and when renee rapp was right there too

hate when my own conversations don’t pass the bechdel test bc then it’s like what was all of susan b anthony’s work for

haven’t seen a girl scout in years

when is thin mint season a friend of mine (not me) is desperate

i love when professors do a big reveal with the graphs in their lectures like ik they’re proud of that statistically significant data fr

i love airport drama

am i better than everyone else because i’ve already taken off my sweatshirt and shoes before going through tsa? yes and i hope the security lady thinks so too

from a young age i knew everybody was wrong and i was right

young milo ventimiglia lookalike contest happening IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK!!!!!!!!

sabrina carpenter i would never do you like that irish rumpelstiltskin did

i was in the top .00001% of listeners of your hopes, dreams, and fears

i’m assembling a team

“thank you for choosing Amtrak” no problem there are no other trains

Colin Jost you have to stop… your crowd work too sarcastic, your relationship with your wife too secure, your straight forward jokes too complex for Twitter. They’ll kill you Colin Jost…

if i was a football coach and had to play in the snow my first move without question would be to wear all-white uniforms

one thing no one tells you about college is that your mom is rarely ever there. hey just out of curiosity where is my mom

coco jones reminded me what it feels like to be an american