Girls, If your boyfriend seems like he has fallen off the face of the earth.... You can thank the makers of 'Modern Warfare 3' for that one.

my parents accused me of being a liar, i looked them in the face and said, 'tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny' and walked away like a boss.

When you have to study, even the wall of your bedroom looks more interesting.

What I do when I like somebody: 5% - Talk to them. 95% - Stare.

Dear girls, say goodbye to your boyfriend! Sincerely, Modern Warfare 3.

Screaming "NOOOOOOOOO" when the teacher starts erasing the board when you're not done copying.

"Are you jealous?" - "Nope" - "Are you jealous?" - "I said NO!" - "Okay, give me a kiss?" - "Go ask your 'friend' for a kiss"

If pocahontas and the smurfs had babies, the result would be avatar.

Most girls chase assholes, get hurt & then they complain about it.

I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it.

Dear Pinocchio, So.. all I have to do is lie? Sincerely, Voldemort.

When I smile randomly it's because I'm thinking about you...LOL jk, i'm just damn hilarious.

Music has been proven to directly affect your emotions based on the type of music you are listening to.

"WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW" is the only full English sentence that, when read in reverse, will be the same.

Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. “Look at this bitch, eating those fucking crackers like she owns the place!”

Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.

That awkward moment when you wake up from a power nap and have no idea what day, month, or year it is.

World's shortest horror story consists of only these two sentences The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

Your brain is your hungriest organ! 20 percent of what you eat feeds it.

The longest cuddle ever lasted for 5000 years! Archaeologists discovered a pair of entwined sekelons from Neolithic period in Italy.