do you know how lucky we are that skunks are generally reasonable

𝚟𝚒𝚎 ⟢ you say very intelligent calming things; your life must be a trainwreck

Y’all mind if a white boy does a little unreliable narrating

“That’s a horrible idea. What time?”

once Gmail decides your storage is full, it's over, no amount of deleting matters

i hate when there's something i should do

This guy I'm talking to didn't know there was a difference between memoirs and autobiographies. He's currently pursuing his PhD in literature.

Was looking for someone to sext with. Kept saying, "I'm in the mood for something in particular," only to have each man tell me what HE's in the mood for. Never asked what I wanted.

Coworker excitedly came up to me with a pastry box and told me about this bakery he went to where I can eat everything (I have dietary restrictions). Then he walked away. Did not share his pastries. Peak coworker interaction, no notes.

I'm not a burned out former gifted kid. I'm a former gifted kid who locked tf in and obtained his rightful station as a downwardly mobile bohemian intellectual.

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person

they should invent a day where things go well

has anyone ever had a beautiful thought about me? or just weird ones

online dating is a game where the losing teams will face each other indefinitely.

there should be a robot that helps you forget stuff. we should call it: “forget a bot it.”

Met up with a guy, and it amounted to a date. At the end, he asked me to take him home with me and I said no. Everyone say good job Kat

A stranger said I look 26 so I made him my emergency contact

Sometimes in the shower, I take what I like to call "capybara time" and it's just me doing this

time to choose a halloween costume! first things first: what is my relationship to my gender sexuality and body