it’s almost like he hasn’t seen the movie the hot chick starring Rob Schneider

I love the word fugly it’s so good how is anyone gonna come back from that one

The real reason to be a barista is to find other baristas to send Lennon McCartney brat edits to

I wasn’t gonna drink but I miss wiggler rn

Not their eyes were watching god!!!!!

he’s a deep state gay guy gone undercover to get her career back on track. i will build a statue of him.

The sluttiest thing a man can do is kiss you mid yap

New York Italian wedding you mean the place where I get gout??

I love the word incredible used as a derogatory. You’re such an asshole it’s incredible. Ugh. So tasty. So succulent.

I love you I hate you im on the fence it all depends whether I’m up I’m down I’m on the mend transcending on reality I like you despise you admire you what are we gonna do when this all falls through I must admit I’ve made a mess of what should be a small success but I digress

andy samberg look alike competition at my house this weekend dm for addy

yeah i was 8 and serving so what now?

Chappell’s gotta put out that femme top country song YESTERDAY

This is the way knee deep in the passenger seat used to sound to me

this was about Pam Anderson but we’re onto Martha Stewart now

It’s sit in your car and weep to Alex g night. if ur in ur car, turn it on. if ur listening to Alex g, get in the car.

in mourning

hey! I gotta be normaler!

I fear my soul is lost in an indoor pool