“You see, I just hid her under my trench coat. You Winchesters are not very observant.” Pause. “Not this pig, Dean. Pansy is small. She likes playing in the tub. She smells of lavender and daisies.”

Cas furrows his brows in worry. “Dean, we’ve talked about this. That’s not healthy. Too much caffeine can make your heart explode.”

Cas squints and shifts closer. “You are Dean. But you’re... not Dean?” That’s it. He dubbed him Not-Dean.

“Winchesters, not-chesters, demons, and angels alike... meet Pansy.”

“She seems... mini to me.” He paused, eyeing him suspiciously. “You may meet her, but you have to promise not to call her food.”

“What is a... zeppelin?” Hugs Pansy to his chest.

Castiel gasps loudly, doing his best to cover Pansy’s ears. “Do -not- say the B word around Pansy, Dean.”

Castiel mindlessly nodded along, not quite understanding what was being sad to him. “Are you... what’s that term... cosplaying? Larping?” Pause. “No, Dean. Drugs are bad and they wouldn’t have any effect on me anyway.”

Cas squinted at Jensen. “That’s not supposed to be a party trick, you know.” There was a suspicious pause. “Are YOU on drugs, Dean?”

Cas squinted at him for a moment longer, still not completely understanding what was happening. Soon, the warm, bright glow found him, casting a shadow of his wings on the wall, his eyes glowing brightly for a moment. Then, it was over. “Do you have amnesia? Is that it, Dean?”

“I thought it was a very fitting name... do you not agree?” Cas tilted his head, squinting at Sam for a moment. “Thank you. It keeps the sun out of my eyes when I take Pansy out for walks.”

“She is a mini pig.” Or at least he assumed. Look at her! She was so cute. Mini things were cute. “I found her...” He simply stated, knowing if he said more, Sam would probably tell him he stole her. But he -saved- her.

“Well... it flies... and you do not. Height doesn’t always help, Sam.”

“I do not think cockroaches have names.” He squints.

“She likes baths.” Ah yes. Redirect the conversation. That always worked... right?

“You’ll get him next time... slugger.” Cas awkwardly punches Sam’s bicep... lightly.

Cas mirrored Sam’s smile for a moment before frowning. “Dean tried to feed her bacon.”

Castiel holds up a bag of green stuff in one hand, and a Darth Vader bong in the other. “What’s the likelihood this is more effective than alcohol?”

Cas shuffled closer so that Sam’s hand was on Pansy’s head. “She likes pets. And she really likes getting scratched.” Pansy oinked softly, pressing her head up into Sam’s hand.

Pansy’s squealed in delight, squirming slightly in Castiel’s grip. “My bedroom, mostly. And the bathtub.”