The Christmas party is the perfect time to try out that joke about your colleague’s green card marriage

I hav sleep apnea

🎶 fa la la la la la la who cares 🎶

buying a vape from the 7 year old working at the bodega>>>>

eating toast for breakfast like a character in a Disney channel movie

I think I like this little life...

girlfriends love when they tell you about an issue they are having and you respond "ruh-roh Raggy!" in scooby doo voice

Snack like Scooby Drink like Homer Love like Lois Chill like Patrick

Dune vibes

Biden should come out as bi at the next debate

☔ From where can I get this ???

Imagine someone is moments away from dying at the third wave coffee shop and the information that could possibly save their life is presented to you like this

Ever since I was a little kid I knew that I wanted to hit your vape

You have about 10 seconds to vacate my google doc before I release the hounds .

Pornhub Wrapped

Hidden meanings in names: Homer = Humor Bart = Brat Marge = Marriage Lisa = Listen

Whisky, tacos, and gangsta rap >

I bet some of you didn’t know I have a groupchat w my friends called “the suckies”

Sorry bro I can’t o have tickets to a live performance of the intro music to The Daily

“It’s not that complicated” … said no boyfriend ever.