my friends are so lucky i can’t do a backflip, i would be so fucking annoyinggg

i forgot jus opened tiktok cus muscle memory lorddddd💔💔💔

Why everyone naming their cat miso mochi and matcha but not lao gan ma

Been farting anywhere lately idgaf anymore

Currently preparing my trader joes frozen meal in a cheap nonstick pan with generic vegetable oil and pushing it around with my black plastic spatula

the lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter

things are often chopped and cooked before they’re served and ate

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette

One thing about me is that I’m absolutely going to get the entertainment I’m owed out of the paper sleeve a straw comes in - twirled around my finger - broken into pieces - folded in half over and over again - this is my sandbox and I am god

it's her day

Wordle

breaking my sobriety (drinking regular coke instead of coke zero)

Asked a guy his hobbies and he said, "I like to dilly dally"

If there is a god above give me 50 bands for that SSENSE sale.