Pylades: I'll take care of you. Orestes: It's rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it's you.

My friend got a vasectomy and told me that with his insurance it was $20 TWENTY DOLLARS FOR A NON INVASIVE REVERSIBLE PROCEDURE

It’s the solstice, may thorned vines enchanted by a vengeful forest witch ensnare your enemy in their harsh embrace

fuck aesthetics. it is killing art

make 2022 the year of being unhinged. wear your fanciest gown to the dog park. yell things at birds. you've made it this far. you're free

I have decided that I am glamorous. It is over for you hoes.

I don’t think aim-obsessed, emo-away-message 12 year old me ever thought in a million years that one day at 30 I would be sitting under a heated blanket with kamboucha in a wine glass using instant messaging technology to talk to customer support teams about getting my tax forms.

What I’m saying that as millennials, our social anxieties have completely altered the game. Speaking to customer support on the phone? Absolutely not. Instant messenger? Yes please.

Remember those articles accusing millennials of destroying entire chains and industries? What if we banded together and did it intentionally? Like can we all just collectively agree that subway sandwiches are gross and we don’t want them to exist anymore?

is anyone just like really painfully bored

i still think we should cancel subway

nothing haunts us like the shows we didn’t go see

the ungrateful brat to difficult woman arc

I find the term “war crime” ironic. War is criminal. All of it. The whole thing.

. Elon Musk fuck you dude

Bitches really be like “it’s my comfort show” and then this is the show

want to be here

giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl

The father, the son, and the Holy Spirit aka the three best friends anyone could ever have here to save #coachella