me looking at people waiting to get their table as i’m walking out from eating a four course meal at olive garden

i’m terrified of the post office i never know what to do

thinking ab how when i worked at whole foods and would ask “you find everything okay?” and the customer would respond “no.” and i just wouldn’t reply

just walk away from the screen like close ur eyes

at the walgreens on 3rd ave to get my booster, they r gonna shoot me up w heroin instead

country girls make do

why’d the actress at the haunted house call me a whore

everybody’s waiting for me to post my halloween fit..

i think my lyft driver is actually 16

please god let this vegan cheese melt

the final day has come..ladies and gentlemen..5.5 incredible years without missing a single thursday (until i just got covid). i figured we might as well do one final send off to sadly end the tradition. thank you to teddy, one of the funniest souls ever and may he rest in peace.

4 years in a row…

just saw a bald eagle eating a rat downtown seattle <3 🇺🇸

ya could i get a vodka monster please?

i’m so drunk rn Drizzy