Not gonna lie, I kinda wanna see labubu get tear gassed..

Showing the chipotle worker my tramp stamp to get double lunch

I hate when I’m on a date and it’s going well and I’m like damn I’m gonna have to break up with my situationship over this 😔

We’re out here texting our exes bc end times right??

“Meg thee stallion is on love island and trump just bombed Iran” is the new “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Proud of myself for not commenting “condolences on your Gemini baby” this month.

You know the blue man group? They’re actually white under there

I love throwing ass that I don’t have. It feels so optimistic.

Entering my zyn codes, bc yes I am trash, and noticed Nate bargatze tickets as something I can redeem them for. 3000 for 2, so 1 ticket is barely more than a mini metal can

Was just personally victimized by a brewery show. Why do we try to fight the echos?? Let these ppl drink in peace!

My stalker texted me happy birthday 🫶 honestly I should just date him, he cares.

Remember this?

This is why I haven’t deleted twitter yet

I need Charli and taylor swift to go back and forth like Cardi and nicki. If Charli tweeted “your fiances favorite color is 5!” right now she would win off top

Just started the Netflix diddy doc and it opens with a phone conversation with his attorney?? A conversation that should be the most confidential, but this dumbass had a videographer in the room effectively waiving privilege?? Is that what I’m looking at??