#NewProfilePic

This weekend will once again prove I am the luckiest man alive

Naps are a scam, why am I more tired than when I fell asleep

The ultimate litmus test to see if someone is worth the sweat and spit it took to create them is asking what they would do with unused tax dollars

forensic science was created by a woman

Operation take my shirt off at EDC has officially commenced

Sometimes I miss my blue collar job but then I remember eating exclusively gas station food

The amount of hot sauce I’ve consumed in the past two days should be illegal

Never confuse intention with attention

10 years from now I will be doing things with my life I can’t even fathom to imagine while writing this tweet

By the time you think, the timing is gone