vote on my 5 year plan: a) train ai to perfectly replicate my speech patterns, quietly allow physical body to die while continuing to Post Eternally b) have so many kids that TLC has to make a show about me c) experimental plastic surgery performance art d) grad school

does everyone get the urge to secretly record all their conversations once they turn 23 or am i just paranoid

speaking of kegels does charlottesville still have that bowling place called kegelers? wild shit

bro how does your high school newspaper have a satire column

reading decade-old letter to the editor drama over this high school newspaper’s satire section (im supposed to be applying for grad school)

Watching Emily in Paris is fun because it is liberating to watch something and let all your latent bad vibes run loose. Like I'm watching it and I want Emily to fail and her unhappiness makes me happy 🥰🥰🥰

my dad wont get a phone mount for his car so this is how he holds it while driving (manual)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES!! YES!!!!

do yall ever listen to the monos soundtrack late at night and get a lil scared

russ mckamey’s last words be like keep doubting lol

AIR has me on a “guys in meetings” movie kick so rewatching MONEYBALL for the first time in years and this movie is so good

in my slather pinecone in peanut butter & then roll it in birdseed era

really the only question for me is if it's gonna be morning barbie and afternoon oppenheimer or vice versa

ppl who love you unconditionally couldnt take a flattering photo of u if their life depended on it

grad school is kinda a step below unemployment like what the fuck are u doing

for christmas this year ive asked my dad to pick out an NFT for me

ratatussy

mica levi

This diva right here. She’s TRULY having a brat summer: not working, taking time off to vibe until labor day

PEANUT IS NOT A NUT